11.23.15

On our way to Providence. This is a trip that I believe, with all my heart, the Lord blessed us with. Via my parents. What giving hearts they have. My Mom has talked about us going to Rhode Island to see the mansions for years. Dad took her a few years ago and she spoke so highly of it, with us both liking gorgeous homes (especially in the line of the Biltmore family), she knew how much I would love it. I’m not even there yet and I already love it. 
It has been 15+ years or so since I’ve been to New England but I’ve always had a great love for it. When I was in college (possibly earlier), I wanted to live there. Something about it. It draws me in sort of like Europe does. I love history too, and it is so full of beautiful history. 
Unfortunately Lucas is working but they covered my and Lenny’s trip (all expenses paid), so after what seems to be the busiest time of my life (Fall to photogs is like April to accountants), this is a true GIFT. All I ever think about is what has to be done, what I’m behind on, worrying right and left, and I’m to the point where I can’t even relax anymore. I thought last night about the trip and having a break for a few moments from my norm, I actually felt myself relax… And I thought, so THIS is what it’s like! Now that’s pretty sad. That relaxing, beautiful moment is how I grew up. But somehow in my adult life I feel I’ve fallen short somewhere – stopped trusting God as much as I should (unintentionally), and trying to accomplish all my responsibilities and desires of my heart on my own. Well no wonder I can’t relax!!! How did that happen? God is my whole life but I sure have missed the boat in showing Him that lately and I feel awful about it. He knows how much I love Him – but I can still hear hear that still, small voice beckoning with me to let Him in more.
Why am I saying all this? Today was Lennon’s first flight. Everyone wondered more how “I” would do. Our seats were separated from Mom and Dad, and Mom and Dad each offered to sit my Lenny, butI said – No I can do it! Now if you didn’t know, I have a reputation for being probably the worst white-knuckle-flyer you’ve ever met. I usually grab my Mom’s arm, hide my face into her side, and cry buckets. It’s so humiliating. Once I’m flying a bit it gets better, but that’s usually the run-down. This was our London trip a coupe of years ago. This was our Hawaii trip last year. (Poor Ma, lol.) But something strong about me is I become strong Fast when someone needs me. And today that was my boy. Was I nervous? Yes! But I didn’t cry! I smiled and talked about how Fun it all was – how the wings moved – how we turned about – basically I smiled and talked about everything that terrified me. And you know what? The phrase “Fake it ’til you Make It” is no joke. God helped me beyond what I could have imagined. I’m actually writing this while on the last leg of our flight to Providence… I just fastened my seatbelt again as we have hit some turbulence… And I feel my nerves… But I’m not afraid. HE has never failed us and He won’t now. I trust Him. He wants me to continue to Trust Him. 
I’m looking so forward to blogging this beautiful trip. There’s no one I’d rather travel with than my family. 
Talk soon…

   
    
  

    
  

    
   

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